Drop;

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

 I'm dropping Pleakley, The Grand Councilwoman, Zira, and Sonny.

I was hoping to hang around until a global HMD post went up so I could see what I was doing wrong and fix it. But I realise this entire game is just filled with people who are too talented and out of my league. You guys deserve someone with more experience and less RP newbieness. Sorry for botching up whatever I did, I tried to do things right but I guess I didn't know how. Maybe with more practice things will get better.

 

You guys are all really good at what you do, and I haven't seen one single character that I didn't enjoy reading. The other reason I wanted to wait till an HMD post is because since day one of playing here, I've just wanted to gush about how great, how nice, and much fun you all are. The setting for the game is something that impresses me too, and I love the world the the mods have built for everyone.

I'm really sorry about having to drop now when I had plots with all my characters with all you beautiful people. So please don't feel like I'm just ditching because I don't care; I was really, really looking forward to playing all of them. I was excited and had been planning for so long. I wish I deserved to be here, but maybe I'll see some of you guys around? 
 

Anyway, you are all very fabulous, and you have a right to have better Pleakleys, GCWs, Ziras, and Sonnys. 
 

Thank you for playing with me. I tried my best and had fun while it lasted. 

---------------
Hey guys, I'm chill again. I'm normally kind of lacking a backbone, but you should know that when all this no-fun went down, I'd also been dealing with some lame sad stuff at the hospital I work at, and finding out my mom was sick. Additionally I'm just starting a new full time job as well as some pretty intense accounting classes (which I am crap at), so aside from whatever RP malaise I had going on, there's some other stuff I was occupied with too. 

Anyway, keep on keeping on you cool people, and have a lot of fun!

Comments

[notyourutopian]

...Why are you dropping if you don't want to drop?

[universal-boss.livejournal.com]

Because I feel badly that I cannot fix things that are making me feel badly and I didn't know what else to do.

I'm sorry.

[feartheclown.livejournal.com]

Dude, you can't let a comment on the anoncomm get you down like that. They didn't even give any reasons or anything. You obviously have people interested in the plots you were working on, so why don't you stick around and see how those pan out?

If you're having fun, you should stay.

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

It's not just one anon comment. I could very much handle that. There's just been a lot of little things and I feel badly because I haven't been able to fix any of them.

I'm really really sorry for letting you down.

[a_perfect_end]

What is this even? D=

I'm a stupid insular cast-only derp about tagging around (and I'm trying to fix that!) BUT

you have been one of the only players I've really out-tagged with a lot, and I've enjoyed it every time?

Anon can get bent. You were not put on this Earth to satisfy the demands of others.

That said...finish the game. ♥

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

I think you are a very good player and it has been a lot of fun to read your posts.

It hasn't just been faceless anons that I apparently have bad blood with, but I think I need to finish this game alone.

Thank you for saying nice things though.

[fairyfey.livejournal.com]

Nobody here wants you gone! ):

[universal-boss.livejournal.com]

I wish that was true. Thank you though.

[memorymodus.livejournal.com]

Oh, I absolutely loved all your characters. :( I hope things look up for you soon! Don't take what anons say to heart; it's not good, and it drags you down. Trust me, I've done it before.

[universal-boss.livejournal.com]

Thank you for saying kind things. It wasn't just anons, but I seem to have had all sorts of small troubles here since I started. I guess I am not as versed in the culture as I should be. I will try to practice.

[has-a-hardline.livejournal.com]

One anon calling you a bad player without backing it up with some kind of complaint does not mean you are terrible. It's okay to not be A++++ RPer all the time. Anyone who expects someone to be fucking perfect all the time is a fucking idiot. No one here is the perfect roleplayer and I don't think they expect to be. This is for fun, not srs bsns. If you feel you are lacking then ask people. If you are met with silence, keep asking. As long as you are at least trying to resolve your issues, then it isn't your fault if yu mess up, it's the other person's for not informing yo that you did it when you asked them if you botched it or not.

The HMD is just around the corner and we are full of people who give nothing but polite un-anond crit. There is nothing you do that cannot be fixed as long as you are willing to try and fix it.

Along the same lines, you shouldn't let one comment from an anon get you down. It's RPANONCOMM for one, and for another, anons aren't people and should never be taken to face unless they say something fucking HELPFUL. There is no reason to drop just because of a few minor things and one fucking anon. You're a fine player who occasionally fucks up and guess what? You are also in a game full of good players who occasionally fuck up, so it's Oh-Kay.

And no I'm not going to lie and say you haven't done some awkward things, BUT EVERYONE DOES THAT. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO MESSES UP.

Just... try and have a little self-confidence and keep your chin up. It gets better, alright? But if you want to drop, if you think the game is not as fun as you'd like it to be or if it's hindering your IRL, then no one will blame you for leaving. But don't let some douchebag anon be the reason you leave. Leave on your own damn terms.

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'm terrible, I just think that there is a caliber here that I obviously do not meet. I don't know enough about LJ RP conventions to know when to stop asking a question, and the last thing I want to do is annoy the other players. When I'm met with silence that's as far as I'll go, and maybe there's a cultural barrier on my side inhibiting me. Plus regardless of who's fault anything is, it isn't much fun knowing you're disliked without having an idea about how to fix the situation, nor where the dislike may be coming from (though I certainly have my suspicions.)

I am willing to try, but I don't think that this environment is the right place for that. Not when I know there are people here who very much dislike me, but won't tell me who they are. I'll never know, so I'm always running the risk of accidentally tagging them and coming off as annoying, obnoxious or just making myself look stupid.

Again, I don't know the significance of RPANONCOMM because I don't know RP conventions here. And I think they were helpful, because the Anon did what no one else has done, and that's voice some sort of concern.

"Fucking up" is strong language, and even if I only do it occasionally, I still don't know where this is happening and what it is that I am "fucking up." I don't know where these "awkward things" I'm doing are. I mean, I know my grasp of English can be poor sometimes, and I know there is one tag that I blundered on, but why is everyone aware of my faults but me? It is more than a bit alienating.

It isn't the Anon who is forcing me to leave. The Anon just confirms things I was worried about. :(

[givesbackbombs.livejournal.com]

Okay, to echo what Tucker-mun said - there is absolutely nothing 'wrong' with your RP that can't be fixed by a little practice or some crit? I've really enjoyed reading your characters and bouncing off them in the few limited instances I have (... which is all of my fail, since I'm kind of a hermit, haha) and honestly, bb? I would rather play ALL THE THINGS with you - who knows you have some room to improve - than whoever dissed you on the anoncomm. :| I'm sorry, but being a jerkass anonymously is by far the worse offence than maybe not being ZOMGZ the best RPer around.

I mean, look at it this way. You're willing to play outside of the box, you're not afraid to get involved in plots or start your own. And even just tracking what you've done since you first joined, I can already say I've noticed you improve? If you want to quit for yourself, that's one thing, but don't think it's because people don't want you here, or because you 'aren't good enough'. That's bullshit. How do you think people get better in the first place? They keep at it.

Either way, good luck, bb.

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

I was getting no crit even though I was asking, and my HMDs have all stayed empty. I guess I do need practice, and I need to learn more about LJ RP conventions - but probably not here where people secretly dislike me. I guess I've just had trouble with the environment since I joined. Which is a shame, because a lot of people are really nice here, and the game is shaping up pretty fantastically.

[supernova1006]

What? Nooooooooooooooo

No you're a great player! I love your characters!

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

I think you're very great too! You did amazing things with your characters, and your work with your OCs shouldn't be minimized at all. They were easy to like, and weren't obnoxious or stiffing like some can be. They were not at all Mary-Sues, and I just wanted to say that I really appreciated you keeping up with tags and all the back tagging and stuff.

So thank you.

[originaljoe.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear you're going. I really like your characters, but if you feel its' best to go I won't blame you. If you ever even think you want to come back you better.

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

Thank you for saying that. I had fun playing with you.

[hisoldgirl]

D: D: D: D:

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

C'est la vie, qu'est-ce qu'on peut faire I guess.

Sorry about everything. :( Please forgive me. You guys can totally go on with the plot without me. All meet up and go for space adventures.

[recompiling]

I really enjoyed your characters and was interested to see where things were going to go. Sorry you've been feeling down on things lately; I've been there and it sucks. Sorry to see you go, too. You'll be missed, but if you aren't having fun you shouldn't have to stay.

I hope you find somewhere that fits :(

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

Thank you. You made computer history really cute. I don't know if anyone told you that I wanted to tell you that. Anon was a great character to read, and I think I read all of his threads.

I'll miss you.

[heterochromiia.livejournal.com]

To echo what people have said, there is nothing "wrong" with you or with being a newbie. You have always been polite, friendly, eager to play, and done your best at your characters. I have met people who have RPed far longer than you who were far worse at it and not half so sweet-natured. I am glad that you aren't letting just one comment get you down, but I am sorry that you are feeling down in the first place.

Still, if you are as uncomfortable and self-conscious as you say - hell, you're not alone in that, I know a lot of us have discussed feeling like we're not awesome enough for this game - and you are not having fun as a result, no one should try to force you to stay. RP is a hobby, and my personal hope is that you, me and anyone else who takes it up can play in a place where they can have fun. If you feel like this is not that place, then good luck to you wherever else you decide to go!

I'm sorry to see you go. If at some point you feel comfortable enough to return, I know just about everyone would welcome you back. I hope you don't let this get you too down for long (you are too nice for that!), and that you have all of the fun wherever you end up taking your awesome Lone Canon Warriors next. ♥

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna really miss you Tricks. I was looking forward to wrangling you into one of the plots that were supposed to happen. :(

And d-don't you ever feel not good enough for this game because you are awesome and neat and I hope you have fun to infinite and beyond, and then beyond that too!

[eighttotwelve.livejournal.com]

Let me tell you something. :|

For ages now -- since I joined up to even today -- this game does make me feel intimidated all around. I am surrounded by wonderful, talented people. It scares me, but in a good way. The one thing I will never let happen is for things on the internet, like anons, get to me.

It's happened in the past. I've developed a thick skin for it. I know that is not true for everyone. But I wanted to let you know... please don't give up. When you feel strong enough, I want you to come back and get right back to enjoying yourself.

I had fun while it lasted. But the key thing is to not give up. I hope you don't.

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

I've calmed down now, (hahahe these hindering feelings or mine), and I think what I need is to get some thicker skin. Practice makes perfect and all that, and thanks for your words.

I am going to be optimistic from now on. Here on out it's all rainbows.

I'll miss you. You were great and I'm glad you're still around. You definitely made me feel welcome the first time I got here.

[fuckinghubble]

I know it's ultimately your decision in the end, but I do hope you change your mind on leaving for good. I haven't gone through many of the other comments so I'm a little behind on what other people have said.

For what it's worth, though, I was really looking forward to plotting with you. I was kinda having issues with figuring out what to do with my character because I was also sort of intimidated, and I liked the plan that we'd set up over the Play With Me meme. The fact that you were willing to plot with me there made me feel more confident to play. Just saying.

So, again, I do hope that you change your mind, because I know you don't really want to drop, and I don't want you to drop and, looking at some of the comments, it looks like I'm not the only one.

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

Same, for what it's worth, I was also really looking forward to playing with you. I'm sorry things didn't pan out and you didn't get the opportunity.

I wanted to tell you that I don't think you should be intimidated of playing here, nor how you handle your character, because from what I've seen, you're doing a really good job, and I think you've got the voice down pretty well. Judging from what I've seen of the canon, I say you have nothing to worry about. You should have all the confidence, and if no one will say that, then I will.

All the confidence. It should be yours!

[notsoloyal]

Awwwww, sad to see you go. I really enjoyed your characters, and the chances I actually got to tag them, even if I didn't get to tag them often enough. If you ever feel like coming back I hope you do. ♥ /hugs

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

And I really loved all of your guys, and totally stalked your threads. You were a lot of fun to read, and I hope you have a blast indefinitely!

[fyi-iamaspy.livejournal.com]

Why are you dropping over one comment when back in Amat we got so much more wank? You're dropping over five letters and the fact nobody has written an HMD? Put up a HMD before the global post on the OOC comm if you want critique. If you're not getting critique, it may not be a roleplay problem but a personal one- and if that's the case, that person probably won't seek out your posts in the first place.

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

I'm not dropping because one Anon comment, I've been having trouble here since pretty much the beginning. It feels like I'm repeating myself a little bit here, but I thought it would get better and it didn't. That's probably as much my fault as anything.

Back in Amat I was never singled out. When we had wank, we weathered it together. And in Amat days I had you guys, a chat that was very nice + helpful; we had a community and support and the chan was friendly. It also felt like I had cast mates that seemed like they cared. (It was the first time I'd ever done an LJ community game. I needed you guys.) [/end sap story]

[gottakilldaves]

this is so sudden and sad and i dont even 8(

Just gonna add to the rounds of you are awesome and you should feel awesome. I really loved GCW's and Jack's snarky threads and I was so excited about murders and punching lions, you have no idea.

Everyone has to start somewhere, and I think you were doing an amazing job. I didn't even know you were a newbie! But back when I first started RP, I dropped a game for the exact same reason-- everyone was really awesome and I didn't feel like I was anywhere near as good as them. So I joined a few smaller games and worked on my writing, and a couple months later I went back to that game with more skill and confidence. Give yourself some time and play somewhere you feel more comfortable.

I really do hope you come back! But until then, good luck at your future games! c:

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

Maybe newbie isn't the right term, but I certainly didn't know what I needed to know about the importance of some things here. But at well, I've totally calmed down now.

Please don't be sad. I loved our few brief threads. I was really looking forward to some lion punching and light mauling too.

I hope you have buckets and buckets and barrels and barrels of fun. The way you write your character was very entertaining and I liked it!

[knight4darkness.livejournal.com]

/CLINGS

/FOREVER

[savesmosquitos.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry, you were great, I was looking forward to it, THIS PLACE IS SUPER LUCKY TO HAVE YOU!!

[edgeoflucidity]

Sorry to hear you're leaving, and sorry I didn't get the chance to get CR with you.

As for deserving to be here? You apped, and got accepted in. That's good enough for me. I haven't seen a thing to make me feel otherwise. I know it's not going to change a thing about this though.

But good luck wherever you end up, and keep having fun. Ignore the anons. I'm sure there's a game out there that will fit you. And eventually, if you ever want to, I'm sure you'd be welcome to come back.

[emberandash.livejournal.com]

I don't actually know you because I literally just got into this game a few hours ago, but what I saw of your Zira was amazing and spot-on (she's the only one whose canon I know). I'm sorry about whatever's going on, and I'm sorry I never got a chance to play with you. ♥

[chttrbox-recon.livejournal.com]

I can't really say anything new that hasn't already been said; I am so so sad to see you go and I wish it wasn't the case. It's a game, it's a learning experience, and we're all human.

I really hope you decide to come back someday.