singularityooc

I'm dropping Pleakley, The Grand Councilwoman, Zira, and Sonny.

I was hoping to hang around until a global HMD post went up so I could see what I was doing wrong and fix it. But I realise this entire game is just filled with people who are too talented and out of my league. You guys deserve someone with more experience and less RP newbieness. Sorry for botching up whatever I did, I tried to do things right but I guess I didn't know how. Maybe with more practice things will get better.

You guys are all really good at what you do, and I haven't seen one single character that I didn't enjoy reading. The other reason I wanted to wait till an HMD post is because since day one of playing here, I've just wanted to gush about how great, how nice, and much fun you all are. The setting for the game is something that impresses me too, and I love the world the the mods have built for everyone.

I'm really sorry about having to drop now when I had plots with all my characters with all you beautiful people. So please don't feel like I'm just ditching because I don't care; I was really, really looking forward to playing all of them. I was excited and had been planning for so long. I wish I deserved to be here, but maybe I'll see some of you guys around?

~~Anyway, you are all very fabulous, and you have a right to have better Pleakleys, GCWs, Ziras, and Sonnys.~~

Thank you for playing with me. I tried my best and had fun while it lasted.

---------------
Hey guys, I'm chill again. I'm normally kind of lacking a backbone, but you should know that when all this no-fun went down, I'd also been dealing with some lame sad stuff at the hospital I work at, and finding out my mom was sick. Additionally I'm just starting a new full time job as well as some pretty intense accounting classes (which I am crap at), so aside from whatever RP malaise I had going on, there's some other stuff I was occupied with too.

Anyway, keep on keeping on you cool people, and have a lot of fun!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

But here you have a community. You have around ~15 people and counting that are sending you all their praise and love through the internet, backing you up and supporting you, caring about you. That's larger than the amat cast. You have people telling you that you are just as talented and in their league. I just don't understand why you're dropping instead of putting up an HMD and trying to talk with people as to what you are doing wrong and what is garnering this trouble you've been experiencing. You're not an rp newbie, you have experience- you roleplayed for over a year in Amat, considered one of the wankiest communities and one of the quickest to get lost in the sea. Frankly, I'm disappointed your reaction was running away instead of making an effort to fix things.

You should be disappointed in me. That is pretty much the long and the short of it. Anything I have to say won't change your mind I'm sure, but that's alright. I don't want to be someplace where people see me as a disappointment. That sounds so dramatic. But I just want this game to flourish and be awesome because you all deserve it, and Coffee built a really amazing world.

And these WONDERFUL ~15 people, I didn't expect. I thought I'd just drift away unnoticed (and I was fine with that). I've been having trouble with certain people in this game since the beginning, and since the beginning, I haven't really spoken with any of the players IRL at all. Not really, not very much. Sure there's a random "hey, you should look at this post [link]" comment on AIM or something, but OOC interactions didn't really last that long for me. Maybe it was time zones, maybe it's because I don't have plurk/ other social network things / whatever, maybe it's a country thing, I dunno. It doesn't matter.

I wasn't just going to approach some poor, random, kind player and be all, "Oh hi, we have CR, can I talk to you about how I am feeling badly about XXXXXXX? I'm sure you won't mind me whining at all. No way could you find that annoying."

And I wasn't RPing in Amat for a year. I was on hiatus for more than half my term there, I only ever made 1 activity check, only had about 3-4 actual threads that got got more than 20 collective comments, and I was going through some pretty deep crazy IRL stuff (think deaths in the family). Most of Heavy's activity happened in OOC memes or trying to get the Goddess to take him on a vacation with her or to start a goat farm, or whatever the hell I was up to at the time. Actually the MAJORITY of Heavy's activity was in plotting, and the crack community, and character intros. And then somebody died, and then the cast began to trickle apart, and then I moved, and then my computer broke, and then I moved again.

I've had an HMD in all my character journals, and going from my Amat experience (my only other community game - the only other thing I have to compare against), I expected people to use them if they had problems / comments. That didn't happen. I've never seen an individual HMD post in the Sing OOC community, so how I was supposed to know that that was a feasible option? I'm not dropping because I didn't get feedback, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it was probably a personal problem. I wouldn't have posted an HMD on the ooc comm anyway, because I would have been worried it would look childish or too self-centered "everyone look at me." I was worried I make too many posts to this entire game to begin with, and I know someone has a problem with that propensity of mine for sure.

I don't know why Amat didn't hate me, maybe it was because Heavy spent his time chasing ladies and never had a serious post? I mean, he spend most of his time speaking with his mouth full or screaming at fetuses.

Rama, I'm not telling you all of the things than made me sad in this game because it seems neither classy nor kind. So you don't really know how I've been trying to fix all my situational issues - and I have. I had wanted to stay.

What is it you want from me? What more can I give you or do? All I have left is "I'm sorry." Sorry you're disappointed, and sorry for the TL;DR. I hope I am not making drama. If this is drama a mod should delete it. I just want everything to be rainbows.

1. People don't see you as a disappointment. Again, 15 and counting people saying you are not. Also, who are you disappointing? You're roleplaying.

2. You're not going to drift away unnoticed when you post a large post stating that you're dropping because you feel untalented and out of your league.

3. Coffee, Mouse, Odd, Surge- just off the top of my head of some people you could have talked to about your problems, who coincidentally know you from Amat.

4. No, but enough where I do not really understand why you say you're a newbie. You know how to rp, you know the basics.

5. I haven't either, but as an OOC community, it's easy feasible to see a "Hey, I've been having some doubts, can I get some crit up in here"? People have done that before, if I'm not mistaken.

I actually wish you would tell us what happened. Because from my point of view, it seems like you got one vague comment- mjack- and that sent you posting quixotically about how terrible and how awful you are and that you are leaving everyone. Even though it seems like everyone loves you and only one anon hates you. I don't think anybody has seen you try to fix any of the issues because there doesn't seem to be any issues to fix, as you won't tell anybody. From my point of view this looks like a reach for compliments, and if not, a poorly thought out drop post that seems rife with potential drama.

1. Buddy, you just said you were disappointed in me.
2. I felt like the people I had plots with deserved an explanation as to why I'm dropping and I didn't want them to think I simply didn't care about them. They all deserve better I think.
3. Here is not the place to talk about that. If you want to continue I'm on AIM but invisible.
4. WHAT BASICS? Man, I can grammar okay when I'm not ruddy tripping over one of my own damn languages. But I don't think i'm keying in to social cues / getting the RP culture. Yeah I know how to post in a thread and use most of the LJ buttons now, but there is so much I don't know. What comes after the basics? I am constantly asking Anne or Coffee or whomever (who shouldn't be important) what I'm supposed to do in X situation. This must make me look incredibly enfeebled, I know.
5. I don't know these things, I wouldn't have thought of it, I don't know what is feasible. I need to be a learning.

You're right, and I regret this drop post now. But I'm not saying I'm terrible, I'm saying I need more practice and that this is a good group of people who don't deserve to have me moaning at them because of rainclouds. There was only time for one anon to say they hated me, I posted my drop very shortly after that post I think. And I should hope people don't see me trying to fix my issues. I'm trying to keep everything that isn't sunshine out of the public eye, as I had thought was good RP netiquette. I'm not looking for compliments, and little good they will do since, y'know. I am dropping. I tried to keep my drop post as nice, and in lack of finger pointing as I could. I think I succeeded. I just regret posting when I was upset, as clearly I should have been in a different state of mind. I just wanted to be as sincere as I could since I feel pretty darn guilty about dropping when I had all those threads planned. I am like, super sad, I guess I say say stupid things. Please forgive me.

Drop;

no subject

If this starts looking like dirty laundry, slap me, and we'll take it somewhere else

Re: If this starts looking like dirty laundry, slap me, and we'll take it somewhere else

Darling, let's get in the car.