GREETINGS PROGRAMS

[usavatar]

Actual results may vary

khsdjah Hello there, Singularity! I'm Jae, and I play the movie-version of Captain Steve Grant Rogers, aka Captain America. I'm incredibly excited to be playing with you all, and I hope you'll be patient with my inevitable fail as I figure out my way around everything!!

Accompanying me on this grand adventure are

¶ HALLIE, playing Clint Barton aka Hawkeye, the company's resident SMALL MAN
Can be a very funny or very tiresome Tour COMPANION, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you. Since the Rules allow him to make JOKES, he will excuse uncouth behavior in a variety of comical ways. Physically he may be stunted or not at all handsome, although he usually dresses flamboyantly. If you can avoid smacking him, you will come to tolerate if not love him. He will contrive, in some way, to play a major part in SAVING THE WORLD.
¶ MIR playing Tony Stark aka I-am-Soulbonder-Man, the UNPLEASANT STRANGER
A Tour COMPANION whom no one likes or trusts. Usually the Stranger is male and neither young nor old. He can be either sly and ingratiating or gruff and taciturn, and sets everyone's back up and teeth on edge. His hair will be dark. In some cases he is a dispossessed or long-lost KING, embittered by his past, in which case you will have misjudged him. A fairly sure rule of thumb is to look at the Stranger's hair. If it is greasy, he has to be a SPY. If it is simply "unkempt" or "greying," or both, he is on the side of GOOD.
¶ SAMMO, playing Bruce "I'm sorry I'm so sorry" Banner aka the Hulk, our WOODSMAN
WOODSMEN live in the WOODS, and can be either Human or Other. They seldom join the Tour, but are often met in the course of it. Frequently they are hostile and suspicious to begin with. You may have to work hard to get them on the side of the Tour. Mostly they simply want to go on living privately.... Tourists are advised to be very polite to Woodsmen, however extraordinary they might look.
¶ AMMAY playing Thor aka........ Thor. The LONG-LOST KING
These are Kings who have been hidden or mislaid, generally soon after birth. They are normally rather young and will be using the Tour to acquire both experience as rulers and various items of Royal regalia (SWORD, SCEPTER, RING, CUP, et cetera) which have been lost at least as long as they have. There is obviously a bit of overlap between long-lost Kings and MISSING HEIRS, but you can generally tell the difference when you see one: a Missing Heir is almost inhumanly naive.


....Which I suppose makes Steve the resident VIRGIN
In much demand, for various reasons. For SACRIFICE on an ALTAR to a bad GOD. The virgin must be young, good-looking, and wearing white.... Occasionally used for tempting UNICORNS. The mode of attraction whereby a Unicorn is brought to lay its head in the lap of a young girl is probably no longer effective.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE HERE. OH GOD PLEASE DON'T KILL US.

All definitions provided courtesy of Diana Wynne Jones' Tough Guide to Fantasyland. u__u

Comments

[hulk]

Yep. Us. sobbing

[checkthetapes]

NO SERIOUSLY THOUGH wiggling with glee.

... Pietro doesn't have a happy icon, so have one of him asking his sister if she's flirting with Vision.

[hulk]

I know your pain. There are so few icons of Happy Bruce because... Well, that's how the universe works.

/wrigglewriggle

[checkthetapes]

and this is the story of how fight club icons were -- WAIT NEVER MIND SAME PROBLEM APPLIES.

sob yeah pietro has like, no happy icons. Neutral? Yes. Angry? Yes. Speedy? Yes. Happy? NOT ON YOUR LIFE.

[hulk]

YEP PRETTY MUCH.

Well, it's... Ultimates. Is anyone happy?

[checkthetapes]

...................

Uh.

You know I'm legit trying to think of anyone who spends more than a couple issues of Ultimates being happy and--

Yeah.

I got nothing.

[hulk]

sob